Dear Christian Brother, Catch Your Sub

I didn’t intend to make this my first blog post of the year but like everyone else, I guess time and chance also happen to me. However, what made me put this together is both a thing of urgency and necessity.

Dear Christian Brother, why do you lead someone on and then back out after she has completely fallen in love with you? Why do you first say, “God led me to you” and then, six months later, you return to say, “God has now led me to someone else?”

I have had my ears full of the several deceitful doings of Christian brothers and I can’t just take it anymore. Trust me, the last branch of ministry I think I want to venture into is marriage or relationship. There are already a lot of teachers and coaches helping to put things right. I don't think I have the strength and patience for that ministry, but someone has to call you out and I am not in any way shy to be the one.


Now, why did you go all the way to plan a wedding with her and then pull out all of a sudden because you simply suddenly lost interest? Even if she had done something terrible to make you back out or you realised that your priorities got misaligned along the way, what happens to you doing it honourably? Didn’t you learn anything from Joseph? And then, in all of the cases I have been privy to lately, she had done absolutely nothing wrong to deserve the heart-wrenching breakup you made her go through.

Let me give you a quick inside gist about heartbreaks.

Heartbreaks are completely hurtful and painful emotional situations. They make you doubt yourself, question your values, reconsider if God still exists, try hard at analyzing really complex situations, reexamine your stance about life, nearly give up hope and then maybe make you burst out in tears in the middle of nowhere and for no reason. Heartbreaks leave a wound that takes God and time to heal especially if you were genuine and invested a lot in the whole thing while it lasted.

When you break a heart in the most cruel manner, you leave the person with less ability to love, trust and be vulnerable. You leave them with one heartbeat dead with your deception. They meet new people and begin to second guess if they are real or are you in another form.

I completely understand the place of healing and moving past hurts but should you be the reason people are afraid to face their future? No.  Should people be sceptical of everything because they met you first, MOG?

Why am I calling you out? This is because silence empowers the abuser. You go about building ministries and breaking what forms its core – hearts. And then years down in the ministry, you mount the pulpit and tell fake stories of how these sisters were the ones throwing themselves at you and how God helped you to streamline it to one person. If I ever happen on any of such ministrations, I will CALL YOU OUT!

Learn to leave people alone if you know what you have for them is fleeting or you don’t even have any plans for them as per the event planner you might claim to be. Learn to monitor the light you are emitting, if it is green, blue, orange or any embracing colour. You shouldn’t be emitting too many colours, btw. You are not Christmas light. Also, ensure you hear God before you jump, and never put the cart before the horse, it doesn’t end well for both parties. Lastly, I’d also advise that you learn to maintain boundaries and label relationships. This will save you from a lot of “what are we?” “what are we not?”

No, I am not hating. I am not a misandrist. I love relationships, love and all the mushy feelings that come with them. I am just tired of all of these tales of adults who are fully aware of their actions while doing the wrong things. 

I really hope it gets better and if it doesn't, I will be here to call you out. 

Love and light. 




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